Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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