she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
