I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize