Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
