I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
