Its about making memories worth repressing
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize