So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
