i think my tv is drunk
I think my vagina is haunted
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
