If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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