I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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