hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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