Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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