1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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