what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
