Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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