ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
