I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
