well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize