Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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