He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
