I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
