Can Purell be used as lube?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He keeps bees of course he's weird
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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