i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
