ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
