There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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