dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
