hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
