Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I pour the whiskey from now on
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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