I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
