I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
