All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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