Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
