a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
