WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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