we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
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