maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
