Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Boobs are out for the taking
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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