East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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