so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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