If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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