I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
