This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
