somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
