So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
