Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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