UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
