But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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