I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
