and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
