he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
