Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Watching her eat just hurts me
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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