Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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