ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize