She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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