I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
