I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
