just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
