i was born a porn star she said
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I supernannyed him into submission
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
