drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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