We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
