Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize