I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
