i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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