You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
time to smoke my breakfast
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Holy sore nipples Batman
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
