If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
