Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
