i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
