How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
