She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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